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I’ve come to the realization that fear has ruled me most of my life. I’m not sure if some people are more prone to fear or not, but I’ve been ruled by it for my whole life. Now I’m not talking paralyzing fear.  I mean the slow, steady fear that keeps you from doing things without reservation, just diving in and going for it. Fear has kept me from taking risks and from completing tasks. And I’m sick of it!I think when I ran for election this past fall, something of that was broken off. I think a lot of people would think that I’m pretty self-confident and sure of myself. But there is a residing fear (or dare I say “was”) that keeps me from jumping in without fear and reservation.

So I’m wondering, do other people have these quiet, under-the-radar fears as I do? What do you fear? And better yet, what would you do if you had NO fear? So that’s the question: Name one thing that you would do if you had absolutely, positively, without a doubt, NO fear.  Anything!

Well folks, I must apologize for the loooooong sleepy time since my last post. I’ve been working on my main website (www.onlythecross.com) and building forums for it, as well as building Desert Stream Ministries web forums and getting them set up. It took a bit of time. I’d love it if you would visit these forums and join in the conversations happening there. The Only The Cross (from now on named OTC) website has forums on prayer, contemplative prayer, theology, and the deeper Christian life. You can find them at www.onlythecross.com/forums. The Desert Stream Sexuality and Relationship Forums can be found at http://desertstream.org/forum/index.php. I’d love if you’d come and be a part of what I’m doing. If you don’t see a category that you think I should have, feel free to make a post and give me your suggestions. I will be posting more often now that I have the bulk of the work done. Welcome world!!!

I’m currently at the Living Waters Leadership Training in north Kansas City.  I’m leading a small group of men who desire to lead a Living Waters group in their home church.  Each time I do this training I’m reminded of how awesome our God is.  He is faithful to bring massive healing to wounded souls.  And each time He brings some wonderful gift to mine (I’ll write more about that later).   The really cool part of all of this is that I get to see God transform people in a week’s time.  Men and women come into right relationship with God and others.  What a privilege!  This morning I get to teach side by side with my wife.  That is a wonderful gift from God as well.  So this week I am praising and thanking God for being “The Healing God”.  How has God brought healing and wholeness to your life?

I’m coming to realize in a greater way, how incredibly different men are than women. I like these differences, I like being a man and I like sharing in this company of heroes. Last night I played Company of Heroes with 5 other guys, all of us networked together on 6 computers playing an annihilation round. We played for nearly 3 hours and it seemed but a moment. As men, we have a conquer mentality. We must overcome things. We must defeat things. We must take dominion over things. It is how we are wired. You can’t really take it out of us.

Which brings me to my musing for the day. I’m on staff at the International House of Prayer. I’m a full-time intercessory missionary. My primary job is to pray. I lead a prayer team, which gives me added accountability (and I also have the most fantabulous prayer team in the world!) and I pray at least 24 hours a week. The real challenge for me, and I suspect other men, is that prayer is more of a “being” thing than a “doing” thing. At least it seems that way to me. I know that my prayers move the heart of God, but it’s harder to actually see that as opposed to looking at a report you’ve done or a project you’ve completed. There’s a certain satisfaction in producing something that you can see the end result.

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A good friend of mine and I were having a discussion the other day and I mentioned that we had attended two different seeker-type, evangelical churches in the past that were very evangelistic in nature. He stated that he didn’t believe that the seeker sensitive model was of God and that it limited God. I disagreed with him and stated that God works in many different ways and that the two churches I was involved in were very sound doctrinally. This discourse began to get heated until we were both in strong disagreement about evangelistic styles. [Read more →]

I just saw “Amazing Grace”, the story of William Wilberforce and his battle to end slavery in Great Britain, this past weekend with my wife. I was profoundly moved. The cinematography, acting, soundtrack and screenplay were fantastic. But what struck me more than anything else was the mindset of perseverance. Do we have that kind of fortitude in our spirits? Do we have what it takes to fight the good fight for the long haul? I think we do.

We must call each other to do the impossible. I think we’ve lost the passion to go after that which seems improbable and difficult. Here’s a great quote by a very wise man I once knew:

Things are only impossible until they’re not. - Jean-Luc Picard, Star Trek: The Next Generation

My seemingly impossible tasks are to:

• Bring love, revival and salvation to the gay community
• To see abortion ended in America
• To end sexual slavery in the world

What seemingly impossible things do you want to accomplish?

I was thinking about prayer this morning in the shower (why is it that some of the most profound thoughts occur in the shower?).  And I realized that the simplest definition of prayer is really just conversation with God.  I thought of Adam.  He walked with God in the cool of the day.  Enoch come to mind.  He walked with God and was no more.  Moses was a friend of God and saw Him face to face.   David woke up in the middle of the night just to spend time with God.  I’m really beginning to think that to live a life of “praying continually”  is to just stay in constant conversation with Him.  So I’m committing to inner dialogue with Him.   I think I’ve always leaned this way (I’m a VERY conversational guy), but there have been times when others have thrust upon me, albeit for loving motivation, that prayer is a chore.  I don’t like that thought.  I think we’re supposed to enjoy Him and walk with Him and talk with Him.   So, what are some ways that you put this kind of conversation into practice?  I’d love to hear your thoughts.

Well, I’ve caved into the idea of blogging, word casting, conversation, whatever. I’ve never been consistent with journaling, but then again, I’ve never had feedback on my journaling. I’m a people person by nature. So if there isn’t human interaction, I’m gonna get real bored, real fast. I imagine that this will be a forum for theological discussion, geo-political discussion and other such things. But mostly, it will be my thoughts, feelings and impressions about the things that occur in my life.

I have lived a life that, on the whole, has been lived out in front of people. My story has been published, narrated and searched out with a fine tooth comb in front of millions of people due to a lot of media attention in 1998. Before and after that, I have helped other Christians out of difficult and painful situations by sharing my life with them. That kind of transparency has been hard to turn off (and there are times when I need to turn it off). So I’d imagine that this discussion will be pretty forthright.

It’s my desire that any conversations on here be respectful, and that any correction be done in love. I’m telling myself that as much as for others. When I believe in something strongly I can jump up quickly and try to get my point across. So if I do that, I apologize in advance and ask that you point that out to me. Help me to be humble!

So let’s jump in! Welcome to my world!